story
how long can you pretend.
before your whole world falls apart
and your friends realize that you were never really okay
your parents blame themselves for everything
how long is it going to take before that thin line holding you together snaps?
before your realize that what you have is a illness, something that can't be fixed. its heartache, you can't recover.
you can move on, pretend everything is alright
patch it up, color it in.
but it will never be the same
the face of the one who broke it will forever be sketched within the blood
left over from the wound that will eventually spread
and cause a crooked line down the middle, to the edge.
You cant leave a diary of all the nights you cried
Make a journal of the different times you smashed your fist through glass
You throw on your smile of the day
it now seems like you have a closet full, different smiles on racks
but the smile will fade, the fake ones never really last
until your alone, in your room, laying on your bed
the moonlight shining through your window
it's dark in middle of the night
your listening to your music, and your chest begins to ache
you scream away your pain silently in your head
you make your body shake so much that it feels like your dead
but your not. your alive.
Everything is together but your heart & your mind,
the heart controls the mind.
Thats what my heart taught me last night
When I was trying to recover from you, and everything you caused
the words you never said.
its like a script right? The closet full of smiles
the bathtubs full of tears
The cd full of songs that i collected
reminding me of you over the years
the crooked line down the middle? that wasn't there before
It turned black the day you walked through that door
Its like you bought me a house, to live in, to fall apart in, to decay in
The walls are full of my screams
bath tub of tears
closet of smiles
journals of years
carpet packed with wishes, that never did come true
broken glass like your promises you made
couches with plaid cushions that faded way to fast, like the night you told me you loved me.
lightbulbs full of anger, burning until they explode
My bed, covered with make up, to cover the circles under my eyes
caused by my nights of loosing to much sleep over you
The wooden doors I always wanted, shut tight, closed away and locked.
You locked my heart up the way you wanted it
you tied it tight in a box, sealed with those three last words
You kept it there, behind bars
until you wanted to play your games
A little house with a broken girl, alone in the woods
you fooled her, you gained control of her everything
because you were her everything
you tricked her like a wizard
with your magic hat of hatred
You only unlocked her when you knew she was about to break
Then you did the final ending
Her world started to shake
You left that girl that day
In the field
closets, couches, carpet gone
not even a door left to lock her away
just a box and a girl in a field
a box holding her grey heart, and a piece of paper that read
" I will always love you "
A tear dripped down into the clouds
and the girl realized she was watching her past
that girl died from heartache
because you were an ass
you left her with nothing, so she had no choice but to pass
Her heart still buried in the ground, fully broken at last.
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spudsie16's journal
annoyed